I miss all you Albq. folks.
I miss my Thursday nights with you all.
I always stop and wonder why I'm not at small group at six o'clock on Thursdays.

Inhabited.

I went to a church yesterday.
The preacher asked how many of us had ever been in a church choir.
I raised my hand.
The preacher asked how many of us had ever been in a non-church choir.
I raised my hand.
The preacher said, "Ok, so you all know about harmony."
Nods and words of confirmation came back to the preacher.
"We are going to sing a really simple song and if you can do a harmony, please do. I want to hear what this group can do," he said.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. . .
The room was filled with the highs and lows of note values.
Every kind of voice singing, humming, whispering, bellowing, shouting, harmonizing, or just plain speaking, bounced off of the walls of that place.
The swell of voices at the words "I once was lost, but now I see," broke into people's hearts as God inhabited the praises of His people.
I sang for a good while, but I had to stop and listen to the sound of broken masterpieces bearing their heart to their Creator.
The sound made my heart warm.
I felt the Holy Spirit's calm, yet unabashedly exciting, presence touching people's lives.
Then, the preacher said that since we would be spending eternity with our fellow choir members, that we should go get to know them better.
We all went around meeting people and before we knew it, we were singing again.
A revival took place in that small church.
A church in a town that is dying and hurt; broken by the lies of a cult that wants nothing more than methodology.
But God is good and broke through the pain and into people's lives.
I have never seen smiles like I saw in that place.
I held hands with a woman that I have never met before, but I wasn't put off because she is my sister.
I hugged a woman who was crying about something going on in her life and she let me hold onto her like I was a long last friend.
I listened to a group of teenagers pray over their coming week of school as they huddled around each other.
I watched as the adults lovingly, not judgmentally, put their arms around those teens and prayed for strength in the coming days in their schools.
I saw black, white, brown, red, and yellow hold onto each other in that place.
Hippies with hair down to their backs and Vietnam Vets who's tattoos covered their arms held onto each other without prejudice.
Peace that passes all understanding, rest that only God can provide, and love called to action by the Holy Spirit.
God inhabited the praises of His people and His Holy Spirit spoke.
"Get up, move out, meet people. Don't just sit and know about Me, grow and mobilize. Be my army."
God inhabited.
God.
Inhabited.

I Felt Really Good This Day, Yes: by Bradley Hathaway

You're pouring Your love all over me
And it's dripping off the tops and sides and bottoms and middles of trees full of little, busy bees
About doing Your purpose how can this be?
That You've let my heart to see and experience and take in and now to sing
Sing, sing, sing about Your love to ever body, anybody, or the somebody that's considered a nobody
But they are special to Thee and for that I thank Thee that these things have been shown to me.

Keep this mercy falling down down and this grace down down
On the top of my scalp dripping off of my nose
Down around my bellybutton
All the way to my pinkie toe cuticle
That you made and for that it is cool.
Sometimes I play the fool, but still Your love is all around
Sprouting from the ground here and there and every where especially on this floor that I now stand.

LORD I PRAISE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE DIFFERENT AND EFFICIENT
And You've tweaked my spirit just enough so that I can taste and see that You truly are good.

Like a fresh picked pineapple for the first time in my mouth
Or the warmth of Your sun on the back of my not warm neck on a not warm day.
I praise Your name today and tomorrow and forever.

An answer.

What do you do when you are faced with the future that you have been dreaming about for the past seven years?

What do you do when that future is so close you can taste it, but God says wait?

What do you do?

The only answer that I've found is trust that God is who He says He is: loving, all-knowing, faithful, kind, and trustworthy. That He isn't laughing happily while watching me struggle. That He wants what's best for me: that He knows what He's doing. I will cling to the fact that God is not a whack-a-mole who is waiting for me to stick my head up so He can slam me back into the ground. I will trust that He made me with a purpose. I will trust that His timing is best and will work to the greatest advantage for me and for all others who are, and will be, involved. But right now, most of all, I will stand on the fact that God has never lied to me and never will.

Evie B)

Yay

My new blog background reminds me of bad, 1960s wallpaper. Yay.

Well, isn't that special?

So, it is 11:43 p.m. and I am getting ready to head to bed. This will be the first time that I've gone to bed before 2 a.m. in quite a while. Sad, I know, but that is just how it has been going lately.
I know a lot of you have wanted to know how the move has been going, so here's a little update.
1. All the boxes are out of the trucks and inside of the house.
2. All of the furniture is in its respective room.
3. My room has no overhead light in it, so every time I walk in, I flip the light switch and nothing
happens. Grrr.
4. It has been very cold in Salt Lake and I got frost bite today.
5. I am going to a church where my uncle has been preaching a lot lately. I don't know if I will be
staying there or not.
6. The job at Barnes & Noble fell through.
7. I am taking a break from school, but am looking into the possibility of going to several
different universities.
8. Things with my dad have not been good since we moved here.
9. My Christmas was not so hot because of #8.
10. My room still isn't completely unpacked because I have too much junk. I will be changing
that soon.
11. My mom's job is going well.
12. I don't think I have been warm since I got here.
13. I miss all of my friends.
14. I miss my church.
15. I miss being comfortable.
16. I am going to start looking for a job on Monday.
17. I miss small group.
18. I miss Tuesday nights at Dion's.
19. I miss Friday nights.
20. God wants me here.

Number 20 is the only reason that I have not sat my butt back in my car and driven back to Albuquerque. There is a relentless pulling at me that I am right where I am supposed to be, but I feel very alone. It is cold and dreary outside and I feel like the weather has just been mirroring how I feel on the inside. Almost like High of 75 by Relient K. I honestly am having a lot of difficulty being still and patient and trying to see the upside of why I am here. My cousins all have their own lives, which they have graciously been bringing me into, yet it is still very awkward because I don't know them well and they don't know me. The fact of the matter is, I am feeling very, very stretched right now and don't know why I am being stretched so far. There has to be some answer like, "God is bringing you closer to Him through this experience." Which I know, but I'm human. I'm angry, hurt, lonely, worn out, and I want a fresh answer.

That's that side of me. The other side is the one that says, "Calm down." And those two words are coming directly from God's mouth to my ears. This time is going to introduce a lot of new opportunities to me and frankly, that terrifies me. It is much easier to sit back and enjoy what you know you have a handle on, but a completely different thing to pick up and start something entirely new.

This is the first move of my life that I had a real, honest to goodness life in the place that I left. Salt Lake City may be bringing my thirteenth house, but it's presenting my first life over hall. El Paso was hard, but I WANTED to leave there (for lots of reasons). I can't say the same about Albq. That was the first place that I ever drove, I ever went to hang out with people, felt involved and that I had a hand in something, felt invested in peoples lives: and I had to leave. Now that I have realized that, I have had to start thinking about how to deal with letting go of all of those things. That is where the struggle has been. The next few months look like they are bringing new jobs, new responsibilities, new uses of time, new people, and new friends. I am looking forward to the newness, but not to the hard that comes along with it. "I am a stranger in a strange land." Those words have never resonated so much as they do now.

So, for those of you who wanted to know how things were going, there was the update. I'm sorry that it wasn't more cheery and to the tone of, "Every thing's going great! I've already talked to eight LDS missionaries!", but I would be lying through my teeth. Just be praying for me to sit and wait/watch, and then do what God has set me up to do here. I love all of you and think about you daily.

Evie B)

I have a song stuck in my head.