Hoping, just maybe, just maybe

I want this to happen so badly, but I am terrified of getting hurt again.
I want to believe that maybe this time it really is different.
I want to connect to somebody on that level.
I want somebody to call at the end of the day.
I want somebody to call me the end of the day.
I want to not make a fool out of myself.
I want to feel that fire when everything is right.
I want to let go of this petrified feeling that the rug is going to be pulled out from under my feet.

Those are all things that I want, but I only want them if it is what God has in mind for me. I want His timing most of all, no matter the waiting period. Saying that is beyond difficult, but it is what I want. At the end of the day, I have to believe that God will really do what He said He would do: take care of me. My personal cry is, "God, let it be right this time and don't let me screw it up."

Evie B)